Tuesday, May 25, 2004
=[ tHoUgHtS fOr ThE dAy ]=
Hi, I seperated the issues for today because I wanted to start what I am going to say on a fresh entry. Well, in my past entries, I remember writing about the sheild around my heart right? I must say since those incidents in which I wish never to experience again, right now, I am perfectly happy the way I am. My friends and I have kind of made up and we're back on talking terms and "pally" terms again. But I do know for one thing that some people in the class are backstabbing me, people who were once close to me, I bear no grudges against them, just hope we can go through the remaining part of the year peacefully, however, that in a way is like asking for a miracle, but, miracles do come true right? I'd rather not backstab and talk bad about people now, but rather look at the situation more fairly, and sometimes I feel so pissed off, but I keep those feelings to myself, but sometimes, the feelings show on my face. Some people say things jokingly but those words actually hurt me alot, its just that I pretend its no big deal becuase I don't want to make such a fuss. I am really glad to have made up with my friends. Right now, what others say about me that is negative, I shut one ear and ignore the comment. Sometimes its better. No stress. No fuss. No troubles. If only it was that simple right?Unfortunately, life is not so easy. Some people in class happy than talk to me, not happy, show black face. Sometimes I ask myself why I still forgive them so easily, but right up to now, I still can't come up with the reason. Call me gullible and dumb, I just forgive too easily, thats a weak point for me in a way, but a strenght too. This "weakness/strenght" makes people take advantage of me sometimes and make use of me, and when I realise that, it really hurts me, but what can I do, huh... Sometimes I just really get so pissed off with some of my friends for taking me for granted, it's quite common. The feeling of being used it lousy. I'll stop talking for now, I think I have said enough. I'm not pin-pointing a person, but just saying how I feel about the way my friends treat me sometimes. ciaoZ~
/11:23:00 PM
