Monday, May 10, 2004
=[ oH mY gOoDnEsS ]=
Well, the blog website has changed now.. hm, i think i prefered the previous one, because i'm so used to it. Unfortunately, my SIMS still cannot load properly, so sad, during holidays if one day i have to stay at home for 24hours, i would be bored to death without it, i guess i could play gunbound, but... Today's Science papaer was not too bad, but the last section was a little difficult. I must say these few months my life kind of experienced alot. Around my heart there used to be a shield but things happened and the shield got so thin, it broke and the sword pierced right through. But as time passed, thanks to my Mum and Vanessa, the shield was slowly built back again, stronger than ever. I hope i am not going to experience anything that will cause the shield to break again. Time again it will be slightly shredded, but slowly built back again because i don't think about it so much. Although it is still sore, i'm sure one day it will recover. At the beginning of the year, I thought this year would be the happiest year of my secondary school life, however, things changed. Maybe it's better. All i can say about my life now is, " it's not paradise, but it's mine and i'm satisfied with it". Seeing some people shine such optimistic views on life, I have decided to pick up mine as well and start anew. It's not that i don't trust some people, but since a few weeks ago, well, I learnt a few things, what I learnt is too personal to say out, which is now why i keep to myself, in a way, it's safer. The world is a 'bitchy' place (sorry to use such a word, but it's true, i see and hear it with my own ears and eyes). Reading back on my past entries, I can still remember how depressed I was, so many things happened at one time and I almost brokedown, thank goodness for my Mother and Vanessa again, (really appreciate it, you two are the best!) if not i don't know what i would have done. Do you know the chinese phrase "yu guo tian qing"? well, I guess "yu guo le", now "tian qing le". In a way, I am enjoying my life right now, enjoying it alot, in a much different way than before. Last time, i relied on my friends to give me happiness, now, i rely on myself. It's a great feeling after some time, so i have learnt to accept reality and cleared my mind, now I'm fine. Reminds me of a nursery song, the song 'You are my Sunshine'. Oh, and I just realised how atrocious my English language on this blog was, I am so disgruntled about it, well, now changing back to using proper English is still not too late, got to learn to be refined, and not let peers around influence me. *smiles* SeE yOu~
/2:14:00 PM
